When Pushing Through Helps... and When It Harms

For much of my life, I believed resilience meant pushing through.

Work harder.

Keep going.

Don't give up.

As an entrepreneur, healthcare practitioner, and someone who has navigated chronic illness, I've experienced both the power and the cost of this mindset.

Recently, I came across research from Finland that validated something I have been reflecting on for years. The researchers developed and validated the Sisu Scale, based on the Finnish concept of sisu—often translated as extraordinary determination or courage in the face of adversity.

What fascinated me wasn't that perseverance is valuable. We already know that. What surprised me was that the research identified two very different forms of perseverance. One was associated with better health, greater life satisfaction and psychological wellbeing. The other was linked with increased work stress, poorer wellbeing and burnout.

In other words, not all resilience is created equal.

The Missing Piece: Modern culture often celebrates endurance.

We're praised for working longer hours, exercising harder, ignoring discomfort and "never quitting."

Yet biology tells a more nuanced story.

Every system in the body depends on a balance between challenge and recovery.

Our muscles strengthen after exercise because they are given time to repair.

Our immune system develops through measured exposure and adequate recovery.

Even our brains require periods of rest to consolidate learning and build new neural pathways.

Stress itself isn't the enemy.

The inability to recover is.

Beneficial Resilience vs Harmful Persistence

The Finnish researchers described what I think of as two very different expressions of resilience.

Beneficial resilience is flexible.

It has purpose.

It listens to feedback.

It knows when to continue and when to pause.

It adapts.

In contrast, harmful persistence continues despite mounting physical, emotional or psychological costs. It ignores the body's signals. It confuses endurance with worthiness.

Many of us have been taught that stopping means weakness.

But sometimes stopping is precisely what allows growth to occur.

Why Two People Respond Differently

This is where functional medicine, neuroscience and epigenetics become incredibly interesting. The same stressful event can strengthen one person while overwhelming another. Why?

Because resilience isn't determined by willpower alone.

It is influenced by:

Genetics

Early childhood experiences

Trauma history

Sleep

Nutrition

Social connection

Nervous system regulation

Previous cumulative stress

Our capacity isn't fixed.

It changes according to the state of the whole system.

What Long COVID Taught Me

Living with Long COVID completely changed my understanding of resilience.

The old strategy of simply pushing harder no longer worked.

In fact, every time I exceeded my body's capacity, I often paid for it with days or weeks of worsening symptoms.

I had to learn a different kind of strength.

One based on listening rather than forcing.

On pacing rather than proving.

On working with my physiology instead of against it.

Ironically, this has made me more resilient—not less.

Perhaps We've Defined Resilience Incorrectly

Maybe resilience isn't about tolerating ever-increasing amounts of stress.

Perhaps true resilience is the ability to accurately sense our current capacity, respond flexibly, recover effectively and grow when conditions allow.

That doesn't mean avoiding challenge.

It means respecting biology.

Because growth doesn't happen during stress alone.

It happens through the dance between challenge and restoration.

And perhaps that's the kind of resilience our world needs a little more of.